Work, Work Work… personal growth work, self love work, claiming your worth work. The reason why many fail at dating, mating & relating is they haven’t done the work… in fact, they want it to come easy. There’s nothing easy about self reflection or self empowerment if it’s new to you and there’s nothing easy about personal responsibility if you’ve played the victim. But here’s the benefit when you’ve done the work… love comes easily, it’s not who you expect and it comes at just the right time.
Oh my gosh! I said to my ex-fiance over and over again. Do the work, and heal yourself from your past relationship. We were friends and I did not want to damage that friendship. However, he pressed on and I gave in, ultimately the relationship did not make it because he did not do the work. I have was in a long-term relationship with two men that played the victim. One victim’s story – it was my ex’s fault. I could not potty train my son. I could not cook meals because she would get so mad! On and on and on! I would ask him how did it get that way? You’re the man! You set the direction of the family! I don’t understand. Well, once we were in a relationship, I saw what the problem was. He did not know how to lead. That is a problem with men from my era and I am a women in my 40’s! They do not know how to lead, but they want the respect of a leader.
The second man in my life, came from a family of manipulative women. He was raised by them and did not know if he wanted to be with a man or a woman! He was very effeminate. I asked, so does that mean you’re gay or are you straight? Then followed with the question of; “Why me?”
Both like and fell in love with me for my strength and perseverance, drive and determination. Ultimately, that was the breaking point…. they could not handle my drive and determination.
It is true what they say that you learn about people the more intimate and close you become to them and that is when a lot of relationships fail. When they let their guard down and their true colors show, you will either love and leave them.
Be who you are in the beginning so you don’t waste time and destroy the lives of good people. I am who I am always, and I believe in letting the chips fall where they may.
Thanks Jonathan Aslay